An Inner Monologue of The Boyfriend
Oh why, why wont this end, why can’t the elevator just start up? Why wont a man just open the above levels’ door, jump down open the elevator roof, and hey presto, I’m out, but no! Why wont she call me, on my mobile, I really do wish she did, actually no, maybe I wish she wouldn’t, she should just let me rot and die, then think how she would feel, “Oh I wish I hadn’t of asked him to call me!” If only I were dead, yeah that would teach em. No, what am I thinking, why am I thinking like this!? She should be the one that dies, that’s it , if only she would die, I wouldn’t be in this mess waiting in this elevator in this block of offices. If she didn’t work here , then I wouldn’t know her, then I wouldn’t call her, and then I wouldn’t be in this elovather. Why am I saying ‘her’, I just cant stop thinking about HER!!! Why cant it be him, I never think about the masculine side of things, I’m always too god damn feminine. Lord, do you think I’m gay? No of course not, I’m not like that, I don’t wear tight jeans, and my right-ear, not even touched! Look Lord, look what you’ve made me think, I’m blaming the wrong people, I could prey over and over again, but you still wont let me out of this elevator, I’ll prove it:
Dear
Lord,
Please let me out of this mess,
Please let me out of this mess,
Please Let Me Out Of This Mess.
PLEASE LET ME OUT OF THIS MESS!!!
AMEN!!!
See
Lord, nothing has happened, your no good. Are you really there, I doubt it,
you’ve never helped me! If this is a test lord, I’ve failed, I’m walking
out on you!
Now its only me and….. well the walls, I could do the something to pass the time, how about saying a name beginning with every letter, No!, three names beginning with every letter, that’ll pass the time, so:
Adam,
Aaron, Ashley, Brian…
Oh it’s no use, no-ones going to help me.
I’ve pressed the emergency bell over, and over again, the guy started to have
a chat. I don’t get along with her as well as I got along with that guy, I
mean, I may call her darling, but I communicate better with men. Lord (If
you’re up there) do you think I’m gay? I seem to socialize better with men,
not women, not even my girlfriend! WHAT AM I THINKING! I’m not gay and I’m
not gay!
Good, now that’s sorted, I wish she would call me, if only she was
concerned enough to call, but no, I call her darling and she just totally blanks
me, do you think she’s given up, fed up of trying, looking for someone else,
someone new? No she wouldn’t do that, She cant do that!!! Ok, ok, calm down.
Lets try the name game, and by the end, either she will call or I will be saved
from this compact hell:
No
use, I’m Gonna die. If she called now I would be so kind, I swear, it would be
Hello, Yes Darling, I’m so sorry darling, and I cant because I’m stuck in
an ELEVATOR!!! Why can’t anyone help? I know, I’ll shout, “HELLO”
“HELLO?” no use. If anyone calls, I would be my boss though; he would say
“Hello? Where are you, I need you to do a job for me”, then I would say
“umm’ yeah, I’ll be with you in a minute, there’s just one slight
problem, I’M STUCK IN YOUR ELEVATOR!” Ok this issue of being stuck in an
elevator is really getting to me; it’s only a small issue. I mean I’ll be
out of here in a minute. It’s such a small issue, if the issue and me could
just have a fight, winner leaves the elevator, and I would easily win. A judo
chop, yeah, just like in karate the other week. I could take this issue on, no,
I couldn’t, you can’t fight an issue, I’m going crazy! I can’t keep this
up, but I must stay focused, she’ll call soon, but for now I’ll keep my mind
off of it by playing the name game:
Adam
Fairburn
JS9J